Response to Gossip (part 2)
Gossip, I am sure much can be said about the subject. Gossip goes unrecognized and it has its roots in the original gossip, satan himself. When you share information ask yourself why you are doing it. From 1967 to the mid 90's Bernard Meltzer was a host for the radio show "What's Your Problem?" I like his advice,
“Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”
I think we should take a look at some realities about gossip and it's source, the accuser of the brethren. Wayne Galloway wrote in an article,
The word “devil” occurs 34 times in the N.T.
1. It translates the word “diabolos.”
2. Meaning “the slanderer.”
IV. C. He lies. He deceives. He accuses. He murders. He destroys. This is who he is.
Gossip is slander. It is a destructive and insidious force that tears down companies, homes, churches and other relationships. It originates with satan himself. Gossip can cause the listener to question the reputation of the person being gossiped about. Satan caused Eve to question God.
Proverbs 10:17-21
He is on the path of life who heeds instruction,
But he who ignores reproof goes astray.
He who conceals hatred has lying lips,
And he who spreads slander is a fool.
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.
The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver,
The heart of the wicked is worth little.
The lips of the righteous feed many,
But fools die for lack of understanding.
Proverbs 16:28-29
A perverse man spreads strife,
And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
A man of violence entices his neighbor
And leads him in a way that is not good.
I have observed gossip in both business and ministry. For this post I wanted to focus on what happens in ministry at times. Many avoid correction even when they've come for advice. Some Christians have thinking that is in disagreement with the Bible. When faced with correction, the truth can be hard to process. Some have to face that they have been this way for years. It is a challenge to come to terms with time not well spent. Jesus said,
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself? Luke 9:24-25
When those who seek advice hear something that doesn't feel good, they hastily assume that it is wrong. While difficult to face, they shy away from the help that God wants to give them from His Word. Some become angry with the very one who wants to help them. Here's what Paul said,
For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances; I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have sinned in the past and not repented of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practiced. (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
Paul was saying that if he found the Corinthians to be other than what he had taught them in Christ, they were not going to be pleased when he arrived because he would not be in agreement with how they were living. He would correct them and they weren't going to like it. Further in his letter he says he would rather the Corinthians just turn Godward so he could avoid using severity to correct them. Correction is meant to build up and not to tear down. God uses correction to set you free from sin that brings heaviness and burden. Correction is a part of discipleship. If you resist correction you can fall into resentment, bitterness, and gossip—traits that your enemy, satan, possesses;
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:3
Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. 1 Timothy 3:11
If you despise godly advice you open yourself up to go astray. The voice of a stranger may no longer be strange to you. (Matt 10:5). You will become concerned about getting your emotional needs met instead of dying to self and asking God about your heart. You lose your resolve to follow Christ and you give in to your flesh.
At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. 1 Timothy 5:13
John MacArthur commentary on 1 Tim 5:13: gossips. Such people speak nonsense, talk idly, make empty charges, or even accuse others with malicious words. This idleness and talk also made them suitable targets for the false teachers (1:6).
After correcting the Corinthians and warning them, look how Paul so graciously ended his letter to them. When someone corrects you and it stings a bit, ask God if it's true.
For this reason I am writing these things while absent, so that when present I need not use severity, in accordance with the authority which the Lord gave me for building up and not for tearing down.
Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:10-14
Previously, at the beginning of his letter (chapter 2), Paul said he anguished over the Corinthians and loved them. The purpose and motive of correction is LOVE.
2 Corinthians 2:4
For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.
Paul didn't want to use severity. Sadly, sometimes it is necessary. When you have sin in your heart you can feel disconnected—disconnected from God. Severity may be the thing that wakes you up to the truth. We don't always see every area where we need to grow and adjust to God. David said we can flatter ourselves too much to detect sin. When you gossip and someone agrees with you or listens it can create a sense of bonding with the listener. This bond is false because it is not founded on love. The fellowship is still broken between you and the Lord and the bond you are searching for can only be found in Christ.
Gossip does not build up, It destroys. If you need to protect someone and it is necessary to share information with them then pray and make sure your heart is pure and ask, "What is my motive?" If you answer "No" to any of Meltzer's criteria then keep it to yourself. Idle chit-chat and gossip works against God's great design for His people—the church. What is gossip? It is sin. What end have you gained by sharing it? Repentance is the cure that will lead you to do the right thing.
